Phil’s story
Hi, Phil here. The “other half” of parkerlings.com. Here’s a little about me to give you an idea of what has led me here…
I’m from Hayes, a town in Greater London, England, and grew up as the oldest child with my mum and dad, and, two younger brothers. I attended school in Hayes and, at a college nearby, I studied health & social care and art & design.
I have wonderful parents. I had a “stay-at-home mum” who was always there for us, and, thankfully, has remained a close friend even now as an adult. She got us ready for school, made our meals and just about everything you can imagine, and more; a full time job in itself. My dad worked for British Rail (and the various companies that took them over through the years). He provided a great home and is an excellent role-model.
Because of his work with the railway, we got to live on the railway estate, where all the residents worked for the railway. We didn’t have a car because, well, we didn’t need one. While common and completely understandable in the UK, people in the States simply cannot get their heads around the idea of not needing to travel a minimum of 10 miles to get to the ‘local’ Walmart. Here, we can walk less than a mile to our equivalent, Sainsbury’s. And, with my dad working for British Rail, growing up we had free access to trips and holidays in the UK via train; so we didn’t need a car in the 80’s and 90’s. The railway ended up being a big part of our lives and gave us many fond memories.
Epilepsy
When I was 14, I discovered I had epilepsy. It’s affected my life in one way or another to this day. However, I am glad to say there have been many improvements with my health over the years, thanks to the neurologists and doctors from the NHS (National Health Service). Family, friends and a little change to my food intake have helped keep the condition under control.
I had my first grand mal seizure while on a church retreat and had no clues or indications that anything was wrong until that fateful day. Little did I know that even all these years later, I would still be taking medication. I had full, grand mal seizures put me into hospital more times than I dare to count over 20 years and petit mal seizures that ended up with countless plates, cups and glasses being broken in mum and dad’s house…oops.
I have been on numerous medications which, while offering some improvement, never completely eliminated break-through seizures. However, over a decade ago, I made one significant change in my diet. A friend mentioned issues he’d had with artificial sweeteners and their effects on his health. I thought about this and soon after, I cut out everything with aspartame and any other ‘fake’ sugars. Since I removed these from my diet, the grand mal seizures have not only gotten under control, but have stopped. I have been seizure free for over 10 years and I put this down to cutting out any food or drink that contain these ingredients.
Garfield holds a special place in my heart
When I was a kid, I loved Garfield. Yes, the orange cat, who, like me, adores a big tray of hot lasagne and a long sleep between meals… Darn, I’m hungry just thinking about it! I regularly purchased the Garfield comics and would write to some of the people advertised in the pen pal section. Back in the 90’s people actually used a pen and paper to hand write long, friendly letters, put them in an envelope, attach a stamp, post, and wait; in the hope the letter would get to a new acquaintance and that they’d reply within a couple of weeks. Sometimes these new friends would send photos of themselves and local landmarks, or even a mix tape. (A mix tape: a cassette tape that has your friend’s favourite songs recorded from the radio or other tapes) Compared to today’s world of almost immediate send and receive of emails and Facebook posts, the feeling of anticipation has gone from that interaction with a new friend.
My pen pal letter-writing gained me a friend in, Budapest, Hungary. Having never been abroad as a child, Budapest sounded so far away from London. So, as a teenager, I was surprised when my parents agreed to let me go to Budapest to visit her. I got my first passport and, over the next few years, we visited each other multiple times. Luckily this was in the days before online stalking and fake social media identities. When I had just turned 22, I was again visiting her in Budapest. On a day trip, she took me to a small town a few miles outside of Budapest. One of the attractions in the town was a marzipan museum. Yes, marzipan, you did read that correctly. They even had a full size marzipan sculpture of Michael Jackson. I’m not kidding. I have evidence.
It was getting late and the town wasn’t really open for tourist season yet, but we went for a meal in a little café and, while I had no idea of the Hungarian language, my friend was able to read the menu and made sure I wasn’t ordering anything disgusting. While we were sitting there, these two American ladies who volunteered in Bulgaria came in. We got to talking and I found out they were only in Hungary because their trip elsewhere had been cancelled and this was the cheapest alternative. We talked for a few hours but then my friend and I had to catch the last train back to her house. I asked the Americans for their addresses. Email was just getting to be a thing, so we exchanged email addresses. I had no idea that not too long afterwards, I would be marrying Sandy, one of those ladies, back in her home church in the States. And that we’d still be celebrating our wedding over 20 years later is a wonderful blessing; some prison life sentences don’t even last that long!
It’s amazing how so many things linked together in both of our lives over our childhoods and college years to bring us to that chance meeting in that little café in Hungary. So many things for which to be grateful to God.
The shifting sands of my career into gardening
When I met Sandy, I was working for an international financial trading company within big name banks. I initially worked in data processing, and then moved into a support desk role, and finally as supervisor of the desk. But I was made redundant from this job about two years after we were married. On the bright side, the redundancy payment became the initial payment on our first (current) home with a substantial mortgage for the rest. A few months after that redundancy, I got temporary work until I found my “ideal job”. But that temporary job turned into a role in stolen vehicle and fleet vehicle tracking that I held for 14 years. Over those years, the company changed hands several times, and my part in the business got sold off. Unfortunately, the company wasn’t sustainable and I was again made redundant. This time the payment allowed us to actually completely pay off the mortgage on our house. How crazy is that, no debt. Who knew? It has been very weird getting used to living without needing that significant income to make the mortgage payment every month…I was wired to make ends meet, but suddenly, I didn’t have to.
So I haven’t worked a regular, 9-5 job since my redundancy in 2019. Instead, I’ve found myself doing a mix of things such as selling on eBay, effectively being a P.A. for my wife, a cook, a baker, and gardening in what Sandy affectionately calls, “Phil’s room” (our tiny back garden). While I don’t pretend to be an expert in the subject of gardening, it is a major part of my life and, other than the backache, I enjoy it. I work hard at it and enjoy sharing my advice and experience with others on various Facebook gardening groups. More than anything in the garden I love the harvest – the fruits of my labour, and sharing that harvest with friends and neighbours.
Nigh on all of what I’ve learned and done in “my room” has come from either watching my mum in her gorgeous garden, or by various mistakes I have made and learned from. Fortunately, each year is a clean slate and I’m looking forward to sharing what I’ve learned. Please check back to our site soon for my advice, tips, and gardening stories.
I’m a proud fur parent
Years ago, we were blessed to adopt two puppies from our neighbour. His dogs had an unexpected litter back in 2006. Amber and Ubu were our faithful companions for over a decade and we loved them as if they were our children. We were sad to lose Ubu in 2017 and Amber in 2020.
We’d already started thinking about another dog before Amber had passed, but due to Covid-19 regulations and a crazy rise in people wanting to have a dog, we kept hitting dead ends. Then in September of 2020, we found out about a UK-based charity who rescue street dogs in Romania. After a home visit and a short wait to see the dogs available, we were offered two 4-month-old puppies, whom we named Anna and Elsa. They can be little terrors but on the whole, they’re growing up well and we love them both. It’s hard for me to remember back to my youth when I actually had a fear of dogs.
You can check out some of Anna and Elsa’s antics on our YouTube channel; that’s about all we’ve caught on video recently.
Basically, this is me. I’ve had a wonderful life and am looking forward to more great adventures. If you had told me back when I was 14, laying in that hospital bed after my first seizure, that I would be married, debt free, own my own house and have two dogs — and starting my very own website, I would have laughed in your face at the impossibility of it.
I hope you enjoy our site and feel free to share your thoughts below if you would like to talk about my story or anything else on the site.
